Notes (from John Showman) This song started off as an instrumental hook that had stayed in my head for a while before the ideas and words took form. The melody felt, to me, like some uneasy balance between the emotions of confidence and wistfulness, and I started to envision this as a song about lost love and longing. It ended up being a song about my two sons, Arthur and Simon (born in 2011 and 2013, respectively). Now, as I watch them enter high school and junior high, I’m confronted with the knowledge that long before I’m ready for it, they’ll be gone from my house.

Our relationship feels as though it’s comprised of distinct and finite phases. When they were tiny, full of tears and big ideas, they needed me for everything - getting up stairs, getting into car seats, eating food, bedtime stories, getting things from (and putting things on) shelves and on and on. As they started getting into elementary school and group activities, my role became slightly more advisory, helping develop habits for tackling their small but growing responsibilities. Now, if I were to put it into words, my role is mostly to help them focus their interests, become more aware of the outside and adult world, avoid needless distractions, and drive them around to sports and activities. To them, that likely means that I’m often a nuisance that cramps their style and is often best avoided: now they disappear after school to see friends and play sports. Fortunately, we still manage to have most dinners as a family and I’m happy to say that I feel close to them. In a lot of ways, this change is good and I look forward to more and more days when I can interact with them as independent people and young adults…but although I love watching them grow, I am keenly aware that my time with them as an all-important, guiding light is coming to an end. That is what Big Wing is about.